I believe…Help me overcome by unbelief…

I hope everyone has had a great Thanksgiving holiday. I had one of the best ever. Heather made us an amazing meal and it was just a good day overall for all of us. We missed our traditional Nashville weekend due to “availability of funds” (aka: self employment) and I took the opportunity to revamp jamierowe.com – it’s nothing amazing..just a nice change of pace for the site. It’s facebook friendly too!

I have to admit that this past week (longer if I’m being really honest) I’ve been feeling pretty depressed. Yes, I do suffer from clinical depression and take medication for it..that does the trick to manage it usually..but I’ve had a feeling of late that I just can’t seem to shake.  Yesterday though, I had a moment where I thought I had figured out my core issue: It’s a lack of faith. Faith is an easy thing for a lot of people…but for me, it’s always taken effort. I think it stems from low self image issues I have..often times I still feel like that awkward, chubby, poor red-headed kid that used his sense of humor as a defense mechanism. To this day I still have trust issues, even with those closest to me…and it’s not based on anything real. It’s just my mind-set of “I wrestle with accepting myself..so they must have trouble accepting me too”

 

Gosh..just reading this..it’s ending up nowhere near where I planned when I wrote the first line. I’m cool with that..hope you are too

 

The struggle with self also gets projected onto God. I know theologically (and in my heart) that God loves me..but I’d live a far better existence if I could also accept that God LIKES me too…I think a lot of people struggle with that. It keeps me thinking about self..and truthfully, I’d like to spend more time thinking of others..and serving them they way they often do me. I read Twitter sends from people who just want to lift others up.. and I’m so drawn to those items and people..then I turn around a tweet how frustrated I am that a check isn’t in the mail or something selfish that does nothing to lift others up….and it doesn’t get me paid any sooner. It just adds more empty info to the already cluttered internet.

 

Check out Mark 9: 14-29

Verse 24 speaks to me the most…

“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

I relate to that soooooo much! I do believe in Christ..with all my heart. But that doesn’t keep me from having odd doubts when I read semi convincing outlandish claims of those into Mithraism or other eastern religions… Or wondering how come sin entered the picture so quickly after creation..was it planned? If so, are we really to blame?..etc Questions maybe most don’t ask..but I do all the time. Some folks can’t hang with that. I tend to question everything.

With that said, I still take comfort in the 3 dimensional analogy: Me trying to fully understand God is like a drawn “stick figure” trying to understand me…a stick figure wouldn’t be able to grasp 3 dimensions..it’s not a part of their world. I don’t think I can fully understand the dimensions of God. One day though…

 

Ok..this has really rambled and maybe that’s what I get for blogging at 1:30am…but I just want to say this:

I’ve been feeling down…but I think it’s due to my lack of faith that God really loves me as deeply as I know He does. If I don’t have that settled, I don’t have a foundation for anything else. I DO believe..help me overcome my unbelief! It’s cool..when the father of the boy said that to Jesus..he didn’t bag on him and say “What????? where’s your faith?!”..no, he heard the man’s heartfelt request and performed the miracle and healing.

 

I WANT TO ACCEPT GOD’S ACCEPTANCE OF ME!

I WANT TO BE USED BY GOD!

I WANT TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS!

I WANT TO FIND MY PEACE COMPLETELY IN HIM!

I WANT TO BE A LIGHT!

 

I want to go to bed…

 

Goodnight y’all..thanks for reading!

 

-jamie

Merry Christmas – The Double Standard….

As a Christian, Christmas is not merely a gifting holiday, it is a day to celebrate the arrival of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Over the past 10-20 years, it’s become very "un PC" to say Merry Christmas as to not "offend" those of other faiths.

So imagine my surprise seeing this weekend’s BEST BUY sales flyer with the greeting "Happy Eid Al-Adha".

Eid Al-Adha is- according to Wikipedia:

Eid al-Adha (Arabic: عيد الأضحى‎ ‘Īdu l-’Aḍḥā) "Festival of Sacrifice" or "Greater Eid" is a holiday celebrated by Muslims (including the Druze) worldwide to commemorate the willingness of Ibrahim to sacrifice his son Ismael as an act of obedience to God.

Eid al-Adha is the latter of two Eid festivals celebrated by Muslims, whose basis comes from the Quran.^[1] Like Eid al-Fitr, Eid al-Adha begins with a short prayer followed by a sermon (khuṭba).

So, yes, I do understand that in America, we have freedom of religion. They have the same protection to follow Islamic principles the same as I’m allowed to profess Christ as Savior and King…but the double standard of PC censorship is a complete joke.

So, I look forward to seeing Best Buy proclaim "Merry Christmas" in an ad in the next few weeks. If they don’t..I’ll think twice about making a purchase there in the future!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas!

jamie

Testing

Testing the wordpress iPhone app!

jamie

Ugly Truth…

Source

 

 

-jamie

How to break a band in 2009…

The Owl City Story (broken down into bullet points).

• A nice Baptist from Minnesota with no connections or industry knowledge.
• Write really great, catchy songs.
• Record those songs in your basement.
• Put 7 songs on your myspace page.
• People discover those songs and tell their friends.
• Management & labels start calling this guy who has never played a show in his life.
• Sign record deal.
• Record an album worth of songs in the same basement.
• Release it.
• Fans who were early adopters tell their friends.
• Success.

Promotion, Marketing, Hype, etc is only useful when the initial product is remarkable. Owl City made a remarkable record.

Long forgotten lessons of an earlier era are being rediscovered.

Press on folks..make it great or don’t bother.

Great profile on Owl City Here

 

-jamie

Dreams and goals…

One definition of happiness is wanting the things you’re likely to get (or, conversely, not wanting the unattainable).

That quote is from Seth Godin’s blog found here.

When I read that tonight, I was looking at myself and thinking “no wonder I never feel content”. I’ve always burned for “something more” in 98% of the areas in my life. I’ve looked at folks who I may deem to have a “simple existence” with jealousy… For what seems to be better called their “blissful existence”.

My dreams and goals drive me. They have since I was a teenager. That’s when I decided that my life needed to be better than the path layed out before me. To my delight, God allowed me to sample some of my heart’s desires early on. When I was 20, I made a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish. On that list, every single one of them happened. Some came quickly, some took a decade, but they all showed up. I’ve always been goal driven.

My dreams and goals are more impossible & unrealistic than ever right now. I burn to accomplish them. That burning is not comfortable…at all. Torture at times actually.

But what is the choice?  I’d love to be comfortable.I’d love to want what I know I’ll get…but evidently, I’m just not wired that way. I dream big. I want the unattainable. I can’t let go.

I’ve done my best to find a balance..but often I’m all too aware that it hasn’t worked out so well.

Do you relate?

 

Always wearing my heart on my sleeve,

jamie

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The shift…

Hey folks…

Kids are back in school, we are getting closer everyday to the arrival of little Ms. Peyton Rowe, my health is grooving, things are pretty flippin’ good all around!

This morning I read online that Gene Simmons from Kiss turned 60 years old this week. It hit me as I was a huge Kiss fan as a pre-teen (and off and on since then) and just couldn’t imagine him as a 60 year old man. But, he is. He’s getting older and so are you and I. Might as well embrace it!

It did get me thinking about my run in with Mr. Simmons in 2003 with my band at the time “London Calling”. Gene liked our CD and was interested in us. But due to the “youth trend” in music at the time, he opted to pass on us. But I still have this voicemail that I shared on facebook today:

It started a conversation in “commentland”..some about the unspoken rules of the past music industry and the new opportunities in the viral/internet age.

After working as a viral marketing consultant for the past 5 years I have seen the landscape change…rapidly! I can also see the mistakes some new musicians are making that I made too in my post-Guardian years.

I have a couple thoughts on this that I’ll bullet point here..Just some personal observations:

• Fans

You need them. They are priority one! Don’t try to put the cart before the horse. Build the audience one person at a time. If you are a new artist, this is going to likely mean giving away your music and playing low (to no) paying shows. The goal is to make fans not money. You have new music but no audience, what’s a better way to get them on your team:

a) Putting the music in their hands free of charge as a download with no manufacturing  or distribution costs.

or

b) Asking them to pay 7 to 12 bucks to discover your music.

Be smart. Your only reward could be the opportunity to permanently warehouse 5,000 units of your album out of the dealio. If you must sell your music, put it on iTunes..see if it sells, if it doesn’t sell in the world’s #1 music retailer, then chances are putting it onto a CD isn’t going to be the push over the cliff for your career.

I actually hope to release a new collection of songs soon. I’ll give away the main track and plan to sell the entire project for $1.00 with a digital booklet included. I bet it’ll be easier (and better in the big picture) to have 50,000 people spend a dollar each and have my music than it would be to try to convince 5,000 people to give me 10 bucks. (If anyone steals this idea, just at least give me credit!!!!!)

Playing gigs? MuteMath came out with a new record last week that shot up the iTunes chart. Just 3 years ago, I know for a fact that they toured like maniacs for approx $250.00 a night and roughed it for that first year. But they earned their audience and when it counts, they are now there!

• Lose the hype

While hype was THE tool of choice for promoting in the pre-millennial music business. It’s practically useless today. People were so over exposed to “the next big thing” selling point that if it shows up now, it’s an instant red flag that something’s probably not so great. I made this mistake in London Calling. Working hard to calculate a larger than life atmosphere around the band. It became more of a priority to spend time on fueling perception than it did to create undeniable music. I should have been more focused on making great music that would entice people to want to tell their friends about it. Not being a mouthpiece saying “We are awesome, check us out”. I’ve made this mistake on myspace in the past..finding 30,000+ friends but no one really responding to the music. This has been a scary thought I have heard for years “Let The Music Do The Talking” and I don’t know why I couldn’t just embrace that because really no matter what I did, it still came down to the music. I LOVED “I want you” by The Ruled (still do actually), but at the end of the day, no matter how much I tried to push it, the audience evidently didn’t feel the same way about it. The bottom line is this: If YOU are the only one talking about your music..then YOU are likely the only one interested in it.

• Make it great

People like good, but GREAT causes them to get involved. Thinking about the Guardian years, we did our job of promotion with interviews, radio calls, etc. But so did a lot of bands at the time. However, Guardian had a great album at the time “Fire and Love” and we put in the rehearsal time (3 nights a week 6pm-10pm and later for approximately 9 months) that made us an undeniably tight rock band. We also made engaging the audience a top priority onstage. Participation. None of that costs money, it costs time and commitment. And we were well rewarded- people showed up the shows, brought their friends, and bought merchandise. You know that phrase from the film “Field Of Dreams” : “If you build it, they will come”? There’s huge truth in that!

• Use Social Networking

BUT DO NOT MAKE IT A ONE WAY CONVERSATION! Otherwise, once again, you’re just acting like a megaphone and shouting about yourself. AKA: Hype. If you have a problem hanging out with your audience and don’t really enjoy their company, opinions, etc. Then you are likely in the game for the wrong reasons and will be found out quickly!

 

Those are my thoughts from this evening on the music biz…

What are yours?

jamie

How you feelin’?…

Wow folks…I just watched a bit of video from the GB Summit a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, My main takeaway was not the content, but how badly I looked! OUCH! Can you say “Eatasaurus Rex”?

So, it’s more motivation to get myself together…which deserves to be more completely explained here…this is really personal stuff, but I’ve always kinda’ wore my life on my sleeve..for better or worse, it’s what I do.

Early last summer, I was hospitalized with dehydration. I honestly have not felt good since then and have not been able to lose weight and was actually slowly putting it on..approximately 30lbs since then. I constantly felt worn out, regardless of the hours I slept or lack of activity, I was tired 24/7. I thought “Is this just what getting older feels like?” and was trying to swallow that mind set.

Being self employed, I’ve typically been treated at the local clinic as needed due to lack of Insurance. $70.00 a visit out of pocket. Not too bad, but while I had great folks treating me. It tended to be a different person each time. Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels created a new Insurance program called “Healthy Indiana Plan” and it is self-employment friendly! It bases the premium on 40% of your self employed income which put me under the $44,000 cutoff – which made it affordable for me! LOVE IT!!!..so all that to say: I am insured and no longer gambling with my health …praying that nothing major would happen.

So I go to my new Dr. (Dr.Manillo-Ibay) and she’s awesome! She made some changes to a couple prescriptions that got rid of some nasty side effects I had been putting up with (Random forehead sweating, dry cough that sometimes gagged me) So I’m instantly feeling better after my initial visit.

I made a list of my “woes”, printed it out and handed it to her, she addressed each one and noticed what I had put on the end. It just said “Low Testosterone?” A good friend from church knew someone close who had dealt with similar  low energy issues I was having and that turned out to be their problem..so on a whim, I added it…glad I did!

She ran a couple blood tests and my testosterone levels were WAYYYYYY low..STUPID low..like..”now I know why I watched those cake baking shows with Heather” low!

So now I’m getting hormone injections to bring the levels back to normal. A couple days in, I feel 20 years younger. What I accepted as normal was far below the norm. I kinda’ feel like shouting “I FEEL FRIGGIN’ GREAT!” in public places. In less than a week I have more energy, better concentration and overall mood, my self motivation to get things done has kicked into gear and the sluggish feeling is going.. going.. almost 100% gone!

Truthfully, my endocrine system is jacked..my thyroid gland stopped working in 1995 (or that’s when I discovered it) and now the testosterone has gone on strike! But  hey, they are both manageable conditions!

My back pain?- well, I do show early signs of arthritis in my lower lumbar area. No biggie to me at this point. Losing some weight can help that.

So now, I should be able to shed pounds and actually have the energy to be active..so I plan to be just that! I dont’ wanna’ be that middle aged Midwestern fat guy who gave up along the way. I still think big and wanna’ reach for the sky in everything I do…or at least fail trying!;-)

Major props to Heather who got sick of my whining and got the ball rolling to secure my Insurance and Dr. visits. I’d still be putting it off and living in hypochondriac dreamland (aka: webmd.com) trying to diagnose myself.- haha!

For a great video that perfectly describes how I felt and subsequent treatment, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2uDGCMzS30

I hope this blog motivates someone to take better care of themselves and if they have similar symptoms to what I had to check into why it’s happening and get help! Like I said, this was really personal but I have to laugh that low-testosterone is actually called “Hypogonadism”…you HAVE to find the humor in that! I also hope publishing this blog keeps me track to drop the poundage and get back into fighting shape..especially in time for the South American Guardian shows in December! You’ll know if I did it!

 

Much love!

jamie

Yahweh…

 

The first 5 minutes of this video is amazing! Puts you in a great place to hear the message of this song! I love it!

-jamie